Grieving is a strange situation. I’ve read a few books on losing a parent since my father died and have been open about how I feel, but I can’t shake the feeling that something is missing. (Obvious joke: My dad is missing!) Honestly, I didn’t expect this to be so difficult. I thought that I had come to terms with the man my father was, his abusive history, and my feelings about it. Still, his death has has a tremendous impact on me and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do about it.

I dream of my dad most nights and often wake up crying. I haven’t cried in my waking life yet, which I find unsettling. Last night I dreamed my wife and I were there, at my father’s house, and my dad was trying to get us to take Lady, the dog we had when I was about 10 years old, home to North Carolina with us. He thought she’d be a good watchdog while we were away. I don’t recall why I was crying, though. Prior to his death, I did not often recall any of my dreams. Now, though, I frequently remember them with clarity and they’re often breathtakingly realistic to the point that I don’t know I’m dreaming, which is pretty unusual for me.

I feel sort of silly wondering what it all means and wondering what lessons I should take away from his life and death. I do, though.

I posted some photos of our weekend at a friend’s cabin on the New River near Galax, Virginia. We invited a couple of friends, Heather and Andrew, and their dog Ellie. It was pretty awesome. We did some hiking at Grayson Highlands State Park on part of the Appalachian Trail. See the photos.

I just spent a few days in Fort Worth visiting friends. I also discovered that having a salt water pool is pretty awesome. Here are some pictures.